A Change is Gonna Come

Change is hard for me. Although I accept when the seasons change and look forward to the leaves changing in the Fall. It is difficult for me to embrace this concept when it comes to my own life. When my oldest daughter graduated high school, I remember feeling adrift. For a very short time, I tried to embrace new hobbies and explore interests long put aside. Nothing seemed to dull this feeling that my life would never be the same again no matter what I did. As a mother, we never like to think of our children as independent but not from us. We always want to feel needed by those tiny hands reaching upward to be rescued from an oversized world. If we do it right, in very short time, those tiny hands get bigger. Children learn to navigate the world using the skills we teach them. It took me some time to see this change as a positive not only for my daughter, but for myself as well. Her ability to seamlessly move to college from high school was a moment to be proud, not a moment to doubt. What felt like change was actually progress. After a few months of porch lounging, the lost time became filled with activity. As I let go of the past, the future became clearer for me. Now I exist in a space where I can’t remember how I had the time to manage being a mother to a Senior and a Kindergartener. All of these thoughts come back to mind now as that Kindergartener is now a Junior in high school. I have less anxiety this time around and will embrace the feelings of aimlessness understanding that change takes time to settle. In the moments we feel unsettled during transition we should look to the trees. No matter if they are snow- capped in the winter, or their leaves dazzle us with gold and orange tones in the fall the tree does not bend or break. It’s limbs don’t grow backwards yearning for the past season. Instead they grow upward and onward knowing a change is gonna come.